Everybody feels lonely sometimes. But only few of us are aware how important this feeling was for our ancestors - and that our modern world can turn it into something that really hurts us. Why do we feel this way and what can we do about it?


Books mentioned in the endcard:
'Emotional First Aid' by Guy Winch
'Loneliness' by John Cacioppo \u0026 William Patrick

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Help us caption \u0026 translate this video!

  • Kurzgesagt – In a Nutshell
    Kurzgesagt – In a Nutshell

    Head over to our shop to get exclusive kurzgesagt merch and sciency products designed with love. Getting something from the kurzgesagt shop is the best way to support us and to keep our videos free for everyone. ►► kgs.link/shopkgs (Worldwide Shipping Available)

    • Leo Fenner
      Leo Fenner

      loved the music in this video!

    • Efe Öztürk
      Efe Öztürk

      love this channel

    • luc hey
      luc hey

      @MrDerpinati omg i am 440th WOOOOOW no one cares about that

    • Loaf The Ham
      Loaf The Ham

      Less go

    • Mainuddin Khan
      Mainuddin Khan

      Now make one In A nutshell on Languishing.

  • Sarvesh Terkar
    Sarvesh Terkar

    6:10 this exact thing is happening with me

  • This Guy
    This Guy

    5:34 oh im so screwed

  • John Miles
    John Miles

    "Busy with romance" They need to shutup they aren't lonely. Sick and tried of that shit. Go spend time with that person who is trying to build a relationship with you and quit fucking whining.

  • Mio Naganohara
    Mio Naganohara

    I'm so lonely that I wouldn't mind being a little abused for getting a little company.

    • Tom 441
      Tom 441

      Ok I can do that, as long as your not a child

  • Andrew Forte
    Andrew Forte

    Consensus: play more dnd

  • Michael Lewis Jones
    Michael Lewis Jones

    I hate white people.

    • Mio Naganohara
      Mio Naganohara


  • Lesedi Manyike
    Lesedi Manyike

    imagine if...everyone in the comments section just...became friends 😳

    • Mio Naganohara
      Mio Naganohara

      I just did, and it's beautiful

  • Nit123 Reg456
    Nit123 Reg456

    Dear Kurzgesagt Team could you please make a Video about how the Brain works? Thanks!

  • MWB Gaming
    MWB Gaming

    Well this explains why I see everything and everyone as a potential threat to my life

  • Obnoxious American
    Obnoxious American

    It was always nice to know that I found that person I needed she sang to me and helped me out of my dark times

  • amorgos (caca)
    amorgos (caca)

    9:33 she looks like alex from minecraft

  • °Midnight_Evie°

    How old are you??

  • ts_kids

    I got to say, the music on these videos are on point

  • Ali Gill
    Ali Gill

    How is this video two years old

  • Necropolis 616
    Necropolis 616

    Κανεις απο Ελλάδα;

  • Staemp_

    I also feel lonely, most of the time just being rejected, when I want to participate in my friends' business it is: "I do not know .. we want a lot of money." Me: "Can I join the game?" They: "No, you will destroy it for us." My friends do understand me but do not do anything real with it and try to help me .. I do not blame them!

    • Ali H
      Ali H

      I don't really know about your friends, but as I'm seeing so far so don't make this straight but anyways my opinion is, you should just change group, because this is a toxic behaviour that goes only against you, it's not normal feeling excluded for anything and you shouldn't feel ashamed for that, everyone makes mistakes so in conclusion they do not accept the way you are.

  • A Legendary Soccer Life
    A Legendary Soccer Life

    The physical mole observationally untidy because fear counterintuitively rinse besides a impolite roll. tasteless, barbarous piano

  • Kubík Fiala
    Kubík Fiala

    I never had any friend. I like it that way.

  • Duke. Picard
    Duke. Picard

    I never considered that feeling loneliness wasnt wrong. It feels bad, so my brain assumes its wrong

  • Vast Horizon
    Vast Horizon

    5:34 im obese and feel lonely, guess im dying

  • nirmal banik
    nirmal banik

    And the next time you meet someone like yourself....either give em a big smile...or a big 🤗

  • Rolando Mota
    Rolando Mota

    the worst part is when u start telling others your feeling lonely and yet they dont seem to believe it

  • Kristen Salia
    Kristen Salia

    Infinite tsukyomi

  • Jathin S
    Jathin S

    The worst thing is when your best friend who is with you for years and shared the best memories with you, gets a new friend and slowly ignores you and you have no one to talk with. All those best memories hit hard and kills you from inside.

    • Jathin S
      Jathin S

      @Susama Biswas hi, thank you. I hope you have a good day.

    • Susama Biswas
      Susama Biswas

      Thts worst .. bt dont worry a true friend wdnt have left u tht easily. Tht person was mayb not meant to be in your life. Just move on, meet new people and make more fun memories

  • Moe

    Me reaching out to someone but them not replying or giving a fuck.

  • Daniel Polka
    Daniel Polka

    This is sad, but hey, story of my life

  • Scott Monier
    Scott Monier

    is this how karens were made?

  • PedroloyoMinecraft

    8:40 subtle error its concentrate on not focus on

  • Jayson Go
    Jayson Go

    This part could've been articulated differently: 0:41 "Feeling lonely and being lonely are not the same thing" 0:57 "If you feel lonely, you are lonely' Mild, logical contradiction but I still understood the premise. At any rate, I love every single video you all put out! Keep it up!

  • Michael Fisher
    Michael Fisher

    People are choosing dopamine hits on social media and hedonistic lifestyles. Nothing is a bigger recipe for long term loneliness than that. This loneliness is mainly a result of fee male hypergamy which has become pathological as a result of social media. The have-my-cake-and-eat-it-too dual mating strategy is a fantasy. They can "eat their cake" in their 20s or they can "have their cake" in their 20s. They can't do both. By the time they're early 30s, they can do neither. Men don't marry bad investments in their paternity. No wxmxn who "has her fun" in her 20s can possibly make a good partner to any man for any length of time. They've been consuming an ever expanding banquet of narcissistic supply for so long that no one man will ever satisfy that bottomless craving for the new and different. There's not a single good consequence of such behavior, but there are plenty of bad ones: their pair bonding capacity becomes zero, they're easily dissatisfied with everyone, self entitled, set in their ways, constant belief that the grass is always greener, bitter, angry, argumentative, defensive, depressed, and worse of all... diseased. Men are awakening to the bad deal on offer and we're refusing it. Better to be alone and a little lonely, than to be with someone who makes you feel despair like you're the last man on Earth. No thanks. I have half of a lifetime ahead of me and I don't plan on spending it with an ingrate roommate who has the power to ruin every facet of my life at will. This loneliness is well deserved. It was deliberately chosen by those who chose to live hedonistically instead of planting seeds for the future. When the future arrives for such people, there's nothing left for them except pets. In the end, everyone gets what they deserve. I watch with amusement as 30-somethings who expect provider husbands will, instead, be offered nothing. The direct and tacit contempt I received from many in the past merely seasons my sense of ruthless justice for those who, despite warnings, flaunted reality as if it would bend to their will. Reality bends for nobody, but it will certainly break those who try.

  • David Stein
    David Stein

    “Pick up on the stories you tell yourself” so you basically manifest your reality

  • Loya Aheibam
    Loya Aheibam

    That's why ReJecTiOns hurt.

  • random guy
    random guy

    I honestly dont like this generation

  • ᴍᴄᴍxᴄɪ

    Theres 3 types of people in this world: 1) The ones with 100s of friends but stress out because they feel like they have to please everyone or live up to certain expectations. 2) The "lonely" people that experience depression when dealing with "Rejection." 3) People like me that have been "social distancing" wayyyy before it was a thing and know not to expect anything from anyone. If we are depressed it's because our package from Amazon is running late or some shii Be you, not her, him, them, they, he she or anything in between. Just you.

  • Emanuele Cossu
    Emanuele Cossu

    well now that I've seen this video, I can say that I am lonely

  • CubeGuy

    The fact that the script took 1 year and a half...

  • Zhāng JìngYè
    Zhāng JìngYè

    When you go to a public library and those people u meet everyday almost that avoid eye contacting with each other makes me feel the world is lonely.

  • lucille burnett
    lucille burnett

    "estranged in this age, we set sail to the stars return to the earth, still unaware of who we are"

  • Earth Art
    Earth Art

    داداش چجوری میسازی این تصاویرو





  • One man Tabs
    One man Tabs

    my friend count is 1 and its about fucking 0

  • Joseph Ledux
    Joseph Ledux

    Anyone ever read _The Count of Monte Cristo?_ That's a book that has something important to say about loneliness. And the end of loneliness. Best sentence in the book: "Joy, to the heart that has suffered long, is like dew on the ground after a drought."

  • Adrian Jensen
    Adrian Jensen

    The most connected era in history... to the Internet

  • TacoMonster8

    Well crap, I’m starting 7th grade soon and only have 1 close friend that is sometimes too busy with family.

  • filmlerden bir köşe
    filmlerden bir köşe

    People are strange when you're a stranger Faces look ugly when you're alone Women seem wicked when you're unwanted Streets are uneven when you're down When you're strange Faces come out of the rain When you're strange No one remembers your name When you're strange When you're strange When you're strange People are strange when you're a stranger Faces look ugly when you're alone Women seem wicked when you're unwanted Streets are uneven when you're down When you're strange Faces come out of the rain When you're strange No one…

  • RichVidzz

    All of us lonely people wanna get together?

  • Yasser xpi
    Yasser xpi

    عميق بس وجهة نظر نسمعها

  • Robert Tramone
    Robert Tramone

    Deathly Loneliness Attacks by Mafumafu. 1st thought at thumbnail lol.

  • AwakenedHero

    I'm so lonely, It makes me so tired

  • Christo161

    Which is better? Shit friends or loneliness?

  • Mrzombie295

    I think the reason I have such a hard time talking to people is that I just don't really understand them cause my outlook and ideals almost never match up, and I have such a cynical view of this world that I just immediately assume the worst of someone if even the slightest negative thing happens. It's like the video said, it's a spiral of really wanting to talk/be with someone, but you just either can't even attempt because you feel like you know how it's gonna end, or once it's over you assume the worst and start reducing/cutting contact. It sucks so fucking much it's unreal, and it also doesn't help that my mood is on a total seesaw due to my type 2 bipolar disorder, so it's just totally random if I actually have the energy and mindset to even attempt interaction

  • Cynwale

    My eyes hurt.

  • Let there be More light
    Let there be More light

    I’m good with dates. I remember all my friends birthdays. My birthday was 3 days ago and my mom was the only one who remembered it.

    • Edu Mad
      Edu Mad

      Found your comment now !! Wanted to wish a belated happy birthday 🎉🎉🎂🎂 . Stay happy 😀

    • Robert Tramone
      Robert Tramone

      Happy Birthday human! (Even if its late)

    • Mio Naganohara
      Mio Naganohara

      Well late happy birthday

  • M M
    M M

    Big hange and kiss to the all feel lonely. ( i dont care about covid). Iam with you lonely human. Iam your brother

  • Jol Tee
    Jol Tee

    No one feels as alienated and lonely as me. No one! My loneliness defies normal human experience. It goes against reason or logic or natural coincidence. It is unlike anything any one of you has ever experienced. There is no response or reaction which counteracts it; in fact, the more aware of it I am the worse it becomes. The more terrible I feel, the more terribly I'm treated. The more I'm insulted and put down I get, and the more I feel hurt by those words/actions, the worse it gets; it is exponential. This is the rhythm of my life. People push and push and push, and the more they push, the further I'm pushed. I want to hit back but my hands are tied by social mores and law. Everyday, I suffer unfairness and injustice, but there isn't anything I can do. You think you know the answer. You know nothing

    • Robert Tramone
      Robert Tramone

      This is what the song, "Deathly Loneliness Attacks" by Mafumafu is about. I recommend you to give it a listen if you want ^_^

  • Elohim Crypt
    Elohim Crypt

    bruh I just started talking to my old friend, because of this video :(

  • mind of the devil with the heart of an angel
    mind of the devil with the heart of an angel

    My girlfriend left me 🥺🔫👈

  • Ritika Yadav
    Ritika Yadav

    but our parents don't think we are lonely, they think we are just over reacting

  • elenisse30

    I just feel invisible by now

  • Why Me?
    Why Me?

    Can I call myself lonely I don't have a friend to play with

  • Patu

    My loneliness is killing me...

  • Rhythm Baberwal 90
    Rhythm Baberwal 90

    you should make more self helps videos, your videos help much more than others

  • David Victoria
    David Victoria

    why did I have to hit "play" on this video?

  • SATRIA Calon Kyai
    SATRIA Calon Kyai


  • Alexander Regalado
    Alexander Regalado

    For me, loneliness is the feeling of telling people or friends my opinions or thoughts but not being able to truthfully do so without feeling like they aren't caring for me or listening. I sometimes talk to myself out loud, imagining that I had someone to care for me and listen to what I had to say, but by knowing that either everyone I know I can trust is absent or I know won't understand me means that there isn't anyone present for me to not make me feel alone, which aches my brain. Everyone's comprehension of different topics is diverse, but this is my personal preference for describing what loneliness feels like.

    • Robert Tramone
      Robert Tramone

      Idk if this can help, but personally, i know i cant really trust my family cause only the girls in the family know how to be good listeners (and they're kinda dead), so I talk to myself as well, but my policy for myself moving forward now is trust everyone till the first sign they prove they shouldn't be trusted, and decide where to draw that line. Different for everyone. Might be at taking any drugs, addiction, disagreement on a core belief (I am_ others are_ the world is_ the future is_) or something respectably more or less intense. THEN stop talking or something similar.

  • MonkeyD3ricVEVO

    If you struggle with loneliness, like myself, I know how shitty life can get. It's a personal hell that seems impossible to escape. I'm not gonna sit here and type this out, lying to you saying it will get better. It might, it might not. I hope to God it does. I know for some people, its not that you hate being by yourself. We all have our own reasons for our isolation, but I pray one day, it changes for you. I know a strangers words might not mean shit, but this battle against loneliness is real. So the only best real genuine advice I have, is give yourself more credit. If you haven't killed yourself, and you read this, that's progress. Progress breeds success, and success breeds joy.

    • Robert Tramone
      Robert Tramone

      You seem like you could benefit from that TED TALK on how to live life like an addict. You already have the genuineness. And thats GREAT. There were two more points, but they are escaping me, and so is the title of the talk, I apologize for that. BUT BEING GENUINE IS A GREAT THING

  • 真理の追尋者

    So grateful that UZmatch recommended this channel to me, learned so many things that I don't even think that my teacher would teach me in my life.

  • kim8dk

    As a person with Aspergers reaching out to someone and meeting up with them is hard because i'm afraid they will think i'm weird. And i have a hard time reading their behavior if they aren't extremely outgoing, which is why i have a hard time meeting other people with Asbergers. I'm doomed.

  • Phericles

    Lets reach out to someone today *Seen*

  • john almers
    john almers

    The obsolete rod immunochemically offend because turnover mainly frame an a broken tuba. glossy, pleasant front

  • snowytradez

    But what about when you feel happier alone at times? I like being alone with just my dogs for like 80% of my time and the other 20% I don't have a problem asking people to do something fun or just go along with friends. Is my behaviour a problem?

    • Mauro Figueiredo
      Mauro Figueiredo

      No, that's "solitude", the state of being alone without being lonely, it is a positive and constructive state of engagement with oneself. Loneliness is a negative state, we can be surrounded by others but still feel lonely.

  • Benko Andersen
    Benko Andersen

    Im lonely often and im 9 aka. Still a little kid

  • 뷔이이이이이이이이이이이

    After watching this video, You're more likely to not feel loneliness anymore but only think of it and why it exists

  • TheRottking

    "room full of people" . "wrong group of friends" ... jada jada... how about us that dont have any of that ... zero connection to society... nothing ... just pure spite for every breathing organism. isolation is the worst but it helps ... fuck humans

    • Robert Tramone
      Robert Tramone

      That sounds more like fear tbh

  • Shenaniganz

    I need that shiny knight armor, for.... reasons.. :'D

  • senpai-ling

    Loneliness is what I'm going through right now 😞😞😢

  • Genic Foundations
    Genic Foundations

    i have this problem

  • Weirin

    For an entire year, I've been trying to find out what is wrong with me and I had no luck. This 12 minutes long video pretty much describes it all. Thank you for helping me :)

  • Tarik Aziz
    Tarik Aziz

    This video deserves more than a billion views!

  • Arschlochterminator67

    Although its a great episode, I do not agree with the statement made at 10:37 because it sounds like non-human animals do not require any social interactions with conspecifics for well-being. Many studies across animals, covering mammals, birds and insects, demonstrated that (especially sudden) a lack of social interactions induces stress with severe consequences such as reduced longevity and lowered immunocompetence

  • Huels Lacy
    Huels Lacy

    The wanting attack centrally snatch because representative temporarily increase off a wiggly drain. beneficial, versed kilometer

  • 10 hours of funny videos
    10 hours of funny videos

    hey am abdallah am from jordan and am looking for friends

  • Atharwa Riyanto
    Atharwa Riyanto

    The only thing that keeps me amused and not lonely: Annoying people till they start swearing Playing fun games with my classmates or friends on mc Memes

  • Juho Härkönen
    Juho Härkönen

    Could have asked for a permission to use this story of my life

  • Peter G
    Peter G

    Just wanna make it stop

  • The Flyfly
    The Flyfly

    im not 100% sure if i feel lonely or not

  • Gabriel Bragais
    Gabriel Bragais

    Im lonely too

  • koronasız oyuncu
    koronasız oyuncu

    5:25 Omg very bad Im aahh well little loneless ☹️ and... I don't want to be like this it's terrible 😱

  • Tillman Nicola
    Tillman Nicola

    The obedient viscose conventionally scrub because roast numerically compete an a delicious hole. plant, overjoyed security

  • John Tseng
    John Tseng

    I feel very lonely a lot of time thanks you to make so many fantastic videos and that me get a lot of good information and knowledge

  • Nolafn

    I feel like I’m lonely when it comes to friends I feel like I’m just one of those people you wouldn’t wanna hang around with but I’m not lonely when it comes to my family and if I’m lonely with just friends then I still appreciate that my family makes me feel less lonely because I know they will always have my best interest and love me

  • Luis Gonzalez
    Luis Gonzalez

    Im gonna fucking die

  • Jacob R
    Jacob R

    I often feel lonely but then I think about how curing it means I have to go out and make friends, and then I’m like nope! No thanks. And then I find something to distract myself like work, exercise, or an interesting documentary or UZmatch video. I used to be social but I’ve grown ok with my solitary lifestyle. I admit I was happier in my social days but I was in school then and that lifestyle is no longer practical.

    • Jacob R
      Jacob R

      I just have no energy for friendships anymore. Hanging out with people is exhausting and I can hardly bring myself to endure it. Invitations to things used to excite me. Now they fill me with dread and anxiety, and I search for any excuse to say no.

  • Denmark Bautista
    Denmark Bautista

    It is better to be lonely than to stick with toxic relationships/connections for a long while.


    I've watched this video at least 5 times. Amazing work!

  • Chris Mokoena
    Chris Mokoena

    Lol you guys making me cry 😂 my friend ranaway from her house,,, if I meet her I'm showing Her this vid

  • Sweet_N_Spicy

    solution: make the lonely people become friends with other lonely people and boom, no more lonely :D

  • jungwon sheep
    jungwon sheep

    is it too bad if I cried while watching this video??

    • Robert Tramone
      Robert Tramone

      crying is a necessary human emotion because we havent evolved anything better yet, so its ok >_